Agata’s Story: When Derealisation Finally Made Sense

For many years, during moments of expectation and pressure, my body and nervous system would recognise overwhelm and respond by freezing, and in those moments, the world around me would begin to feel unreal.

I would question reality, wondering if this was a dream or if what I was experiencing was really happening. 

It wasn’t like watching myself from outside my body. Instead, it felt as though there were two parts of me, one part stuck in overwhelm and freeze, and another part observing, trying to make sense of it all.

Alongside the unreal feeling came fear. 

I often feared that I wouldn’t come out of this strange state. Yet each time, I always did return to feeling grounded again, something I couldn’t see clearly in the moment, but which later became important to recognise.

Alongside the fear, I also carried a lot of shame. Deep down lived an old belief from childhood that something was wrong with me. For a long time, I thought I was the only person in the world experiencing this.

Through therapy and training, I began learning about the nervous system and survival responses such as fight, flight, and freeze. I started to understand that when stress becomes too much, the body doesn’t always fight or run away, sometimes it shuts down.

But even with this knowledge, I still didn’t fully understand the unreal feeling itself.

That changed in 2025 during a conversation with ChatGPT.

As I described my experiences, the world feeling unreal, questioning reality, freezing when overwhelmed, I was introduced to a word I had never heard before: derealisation.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

For the first time, I could research what I was experiencing and discovered that I wasn’t alone. I learned that many others experienced similar symptoms and that derealisation was a recognised response of the nervous system.

Through this research, I found Unreal, and I’m incredibly grateful that I did.

Seeing people bravely share their experiences inspired me deeply and showed me how many people are seeking understanding and support.

Finding a community that understood and spoke openly about DPDR brought enormous validation. It helped me realise that there was nothing wrong with me and that I wasn’t facing this on my own.

I began to understand that derealisation can happen when the nervous system enters a freeze response, creating distance from the world to reduce emotional overwhelm.

My mind wasn’t failing me, my body was protecting me.

This understanding changed everything.

My symptoms didn’t disappear overnight, but my fear of them did.

Where there had once been judgement, there was now compassion.

Where there had once been shame, there was now acceptance.

I also began to understand that my nervous system had learned a response to overwhelm, and repeated it in an attempt to keep me safe.

Derealisation can still appear occasionally, but it no longer frightens me.

I honour my nervous system instead of fighting it.

My hope in sharing my story is that it may help someone else feel less alone and realise there is nothing wrong with them.

With understanding, compassion, and support, things really can begin to shift.

With love,
Agata